This past week, we had the all important anatomy scan, where we anxiously entered the darkened room and hoped that all was well with our baby. Thankfully, it was, and we breathed a sigh of relief to know our little one was growing and developing as it should. And then, it was time to discover the gender.
I've never hesitated when deciding whether or not to find out the sex of the baby. Not only because 40 weeks seems like a extraordinarily long time to wait, but it allows the excitement to build, the conversations with each other to begin about what life might be like if we had a boy or girl, to slowly ponder over names and carefully select tiny items of clothing and lovingly decorate the nursery. Before the whirlwind of a newborn enters our world and there's no time for anything else. But above all, I like to know the gender as it helps me bond with the baby. Knowing the sex, and being able to refer to baby as 'he' or 'she,' rather than 'it.' And if the worst was to happen, and we lost another baby, I would be thankful that I had that time knowing who our little one was when they were still alive inside me.
We had no preference for gender. I loved to imagine having another boy, a little brother for Henry, and picturing the brotherly bond they'd develop, that we never got to know after losing William and Noah. Yet at the same time, I've always imagined myself having a little girl and it would be lovely to have both a boy and a girl. When we were told I was carrying a baby girl, it didn't come of as much of a surprise, in a way I was expecting it, after already having three boys. It was a treasured moment, discovering that we have a daughter. Three boys and a girl. Just as my parents have.
We had no problems picking names for boys, we chose three we love and still have more on our list should we have had another one. Girls names we're finding a little trickier. We love feminine, soft names, but agreeing upon one is proving difficult. With all the boys, we waited until they were born until we finally selected a name from our shortlist, wanting to see their sweet little faces to see which they suited, so perhaps we'll do the same with our baby girl.